Diary of a new school mum #2

We are two weeks away from our first ever school holidays! HOLY SHITBALLS BATMAN! Don't blink because it will be the end of the year and all of a sudden our little miss will be off to high school.

I know this from experience, because I blinked and my god daughter is starting high school next year.

I am still trying to come to terms with the whirlwind that is school since I posted my first diary of a new school mum.

There are home readers, sight-words, sports day, yoga day, news day, library day, tokens for houses, trivia nights, Easter hat parades, grandparents day, canteen days, Premier's Reading Challenge, computer class and parent/teacher meetings. Phew, exhausted.

It has also dawned on me that I still I have an innate ability to say yes to everything asked of me. I am now Secretary of the P&C, Uniform Shop volunteer, and computer class parent helper. Yep, more exhausted.

I have also gained more tips that I would like to share....

1. Exchange numbers with other parents in your class, just in case you can't get to school for the 3pm bell and need to frantically ring someone to be that smiling face that greets your babe as they exit the classroom for the day. (or perhaps your other half needs the numbers)
2. When asked to volunteer, it is okay to not put your hand up for everything. A good tip is to literally sit on your hands so you aren't tempted to raise them.
3. Buy two hats, one for the school bag and one to be left at school in your kid's tray. This is for the common rare occurrence when your one year old removes the hat from the five year old's school bag and puts it in his toy box. Then there will be a back up at school so you don't have to run home, grab the hat and run back. (I have learnt that his toy box should be my first go-to place to look for missing items now...even though I did just find my watch in the bin.)
4. Take time to read the homework sheet because the teacher puts little notes to parents on them, e.g. Tuesday is now a kindy sports day so please wear sports uniform....oops!
5. The whole family will be exhausted. Not only will your little school person be exhausted, the whole family will be worn out by this stage of term. I had heard that the kids gets exhausted, but yikes, I am knackered.

How have you survived Term 1 so far?

Any tips you would like to share?

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Diary of a new school mum #1

As week five dawns on our first year as school parents I thought I should blog about our journey so far.

I must admit I feel like I have started a new job....and here is why.

There is the new place that we have to go to each day....and be there by 8.55am for the first bell which signals all the kids to line up with their classes and hear the messages of the day. (Think a new office with restricted parking and only one entrance for the whole office population to enter and exit through......and you need to be there on time with or without your morning coffee.)

There is the teacher, who you are trying to figure out. And no doubt is trying to figure out you and your kid? Will you like them? Will they like you? Are they the best for your child? (Think trying to get to know a new boss. Will you like them? Will they like you?)

There's meeting all the new people. It is completely daunting attempting to remember the name of the kids in our little misses class, not too mention all their parents names too. (Think remembering everyone's names and who goes with who and who does what.)

There is all the paperwork. In the last four weeks little miss has had some note or other in her bag, from Premier's Reading Challenge to school fees to her day to attend Yoga. (Think of your In tray and Out tray and how people just keep putting things in the In tray and the Out tray seems to stay relatively empty.)

I went to the first P&C Meeting of the year a couple of weeks ago. Interesting. Very interesting. (Think a company wide meeting with the CEO and representatives from each department with their own agenda....and you are trying to figure out where you fit.)

I also volunteered at the Uniform Shop on Thursday afternoon last week...with my little man in tow. He is usually so lovely and smiley, but last Thursday he decided to unleash hell. So while I tried to learn where the skorts, short sleeves, long sleeves and sports uniforms were all located he screamed the place down. But who can blame him there were people everywhere running here and there and he was smack bang in the middle. (Think a very disorganised fire drill, where the alarm goes off and people don't know whether to evacuate or not. Is this real? Do we have to go?)

So, my tips so far....

1. Write down the name of the parents you meet next to the name of their child. (I found out that I'm not the only one to do this either.)
2. Introduce yourself to the teacher and say G'Day on a regular basis. If you can, volunteer to help out in the classroom so you can sticky-beak what is going on.
3. Create a "Week" schedule for your kids so you can list which day is library, sports, arts etc to make sure you are packing the right things in the bag....and to help out other parents in the family and grandparents on a Friday...and then you can ditch the paperwork afterwards instead of having a ream of paper magnetised to the side of the fridge.
4. If attending a P&C meeting for the first time, allow two hours, if not more. Allow yourself to be totally bamboozled and be okay with it. Hot topics include canteen and air conditioners. 
5. If volunteering with a small child in tow, cross your fingers and hope for the best.

If you have entered the life of "school parents" this year, how are you going?

If you have been "school parents" for a while, what are your tips?

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Overwhelmed!

My Dad hates change. I hate change. Our little miss hates change. We love our comfort zones. It takes us a while to get comfortable with new people and places.

School is a big change. I didn't realise how big until our little miss started. I mean I knew it was a big deal but holy shit it really is a massive deal - for us anyway. Of course everyone is different. Some just slot into the new school life with ease. Ours will be a lot bumpier.

As I have mentioned before, our little miss also suffers from separation anxiety. So starting school is a massive deal for her.

There were some tears at the first school drop-off. The teacher told me in the afternoon that she only cried for a minute and then was happy and participating.

At bed time that night, she had more tears telling me that school was new and she wasn't used to it and she didn't want me to leave her. I broke down and we cried together. I told her that it was new to me too and together we would get used to it.

Drop-off at school on day two was worse. She screamed and grabbed onto me. The teacher took her hand and lead her into the classroom after we said goodbye. My heart shattered into a million pieces.

All I want is to be there for her. To hold her in my arms until she stops crying. But I can't stay at school all day with her, as much as I want to.

I can't believe how overwhelmed I feel about this whole experience. All day my stomach churns with nerves. My mind races with too many scenarios, is is she OK? is she eating? is she still crying? is she sitting by herself?

Needless to say I have sent a message to my psychiatrist for an appointment.

What overwhelms you?

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#First day of school

The day finally dawned - the first day of Kindergarten, 30 Jan 2014.

Little miss awoke full of energy and excitement. I awoke with knots in my stomach, an incredible sense of fear and a real urge to use the bathroom.

We had made up a routine chart a few days ago and it goes something like this; 7am Wake up, have breakfast, get dressed, pack bag, brush teeth, 8.30am head to school.

She was ready at about 7.45am. "When are we going?" was her question on repeat.

She checked and double-checked her bag in the 45 minutes before it was time to leave the house. I took a Valium.

One more trip to the bathroom for me and we were out the door at 8.30am.

Arriving at school seemed to ease my nerves, seeing all the other families in the same situation as us or perhaps the Valium had kicked in. Little miss was still smiling around at everyone, soaking it all up.

We mingled in the playground with the other kids waiting for the bell to ring and greeted some of the parents and kids that we already knew.

The bell rang and the older kids lined up in their classes. The principal said a few words and the kindy kids were ushered to the school hall to find out what class they would be in.

Our little miss would be in Mrs Fairgrieve's Coolabah class which is a composite class with Year 1.  She already knew one of the Year 1 kids in her class - who was actually hoping our little miss would be in the kindy component of the class. Cute, right!

We followed along to the classroom. All still going well.

We got to the classroom and our little miss seemed to get a little overwhelmed. My nerves returned, as did my need to go to the bathroom. She shed a few tears, I choked my tears back as Mrs Fairgrieve took her hand, hugged her and gently rubbed her back. Instantly I loved this woman.

She showed the kids where to put their lunch and recess boxes and which peg to hang their bags on. We found her chair, in between a little girl and boy and she sat down, still with a few tears and shy looks.

Some Year 6 kids came to help out and our little miss was fortunate enough to have the school captain help her! She was a lovely girl and asked our little miss if she was okay and told her that everything would be alright. Instantly I loved this kid.

This was my cue to leave, even though I didn't want to. I wanted to stay all day to make sure she was okay but clearly that is not allowed. I kissed her and we did our Rainbow Connection and hand squeezes. I left the room and hurried to meet Hubby near the school hall. Attempting to keep my shit together just a little bit longer.

We headed to a cafe and I cried. Hubby asked if I was crying because our little miss was starting school or because she was a bit overwhelmed by it all. I said I wasn't sure, probably a combination of both. He reminded me it is a big adjustment for everyone and will take a bit for us all to get used to it. He, of course, is right - isn't he always!

Let me tell you something for nothing though - 3pm can't come around fast enough.

Are you waiting for 3pm too?

Am I ready?

In one more sleep our little miss starts school.

She seems excited.

However, she did wake up at 4.30am the other day worried about not having a pen and notebook for class. I tried to explain that Kindy kids didn't need a pen and notebook. She said she better pack them in her bag though, just in case. She now has a notebook and pen waiting in her school bag for tomorrow.

And last night she did say she was a bit nervous because she didn't know what to expect at school because she hadn't been there before. I tried to tell her as much as I knew, that we would rock up to school just before 9am and wait near the canteen to be told her teacher and location of the classroom.

This morning she woke up and declared with a massive smile, "Today is my last day of daycare!"

Is she ready for school? Absolutely. She is a fountain of questions about this, that and the other! She is definitely ready to start learning and soaking up all the information she can.

Am I ready? Absolutely NOT.

I have been anxious about her starting school for a while. I thought it was mainly because I worried about her making friends, fitting in and being bullied. These are all my issues, as I was bullied and excluded during school and it sucked. And the last thing I want for my little miss is for the same to happen.

But this week my thoughts have been on my little girl growing up and this being the first step in her independent life. It feels like I am holding my little dove in my hands, as I have for the last five and a half years, and tomorrow I will let her go and she will fly into this wide new world.

Writing this post brings tears to my eyes and crazy neurotic butterflies to my stomach as I think about it. My head plays different scenarios over and over again of her first day and even first years at school. What will they be like? What will she learn? Will she still want to snuggle and chat with me about this and that? Is this really the first step to her becoming a grown up girl? Will she like it? What if she doesn't?

As you can see I am a massive over-thinker!

I sit here attempting to listen to music to ease my heightened anxiety and Kylie Minogue's concert version of "Over the Rainbow" plays. I cry, thinking of my little angel starting this new journey of her's over the rainbow, where skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Are you sending a little one off to school this year?

What are your thoughts?

Do you love this version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow?

Do you love Kylie Minogue?

The big day looms closer

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Hubby and I have finally decided on the "big school" we will send our little miss to next year.

To say I am petrified about the whole thing is an understatement.

Our little miss has always been a timid soul and while I don't want to label her there is no denying that she is shyer than most kids.

This week little miss and I had a play date at the park with a mothers group friend, who will attend the same school next year. My little miss was hesitant to join in and play with the kids that she didn't know, preferring to stay by my side, attached to my leg.

I could feel the anxiety race through me. If she was like this when I was around, how was she going to be at school? I couldn't sleep while my brain worried about it.

I was an anxious, shy child. I remember too well how I didn't want to go to school. How mean some of the people were that were supposedly my friends and how I didn't have the confidence to say "GET F***ED". It was awful. I don't want that for our little miss.

Instead of letting my anxiety explode and become our little miss' anxiety, I am taking action to make the transition to school as smooth as I can for her. I am going to do everything to make sure our little miss is ready for "big school". Making sure she is as confident and ready to go as every other kid that will walk through those gates on the first day.

Currently my plan looks like this....

• Play dates with other little people who will be attending the same school to meet more people and gain confidence socially.
• Walking through the school to become accustomed to the size and environment.
• Packing a lunch box for the day to get used to having to manage her own food.

Closer to the end of the year we will also practice drop-offs and pick-ups and talk to her teacher to get to know him/her too.

I also have a kit of documentation and books I am hoping will give me some insight.....

• Raising Girls by Steve Biddulph
• Your child's first year at school: Getting off to a good start 
• Cool Little Kids, Anxiety Prevention Program Parent's Manual from Macquarie University
• Kids Matter Transition to school: Parent Initiative
• Parent and Carer Booklet 1 - Setting the scene
• Parent and Carer Booklet 1 - Getting Ready
• Parent and Carer Booklet 1 - Settling In

Got any tips for the transition to "big school"?

Big decisions

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The decision to have children is a big one. Probably one of the biggest.

They are seriously life changing. But in a good way, right?

Admittedly we were extremely naive when deciding to have our first baby. Before you experience it first hand you can never truly know what it is like to have a child.

I remember saying to a good friend, between sobs, "Why didn't you tell me it was like this?". She said, "You wouldn't have believed me and it wouldn't have changed your mind anyway." She was right.

When it came to deciding whether to add to our brood with a second child, it took us two and a half years to  make our mind up that indeed it was time to try again.

We don't regret our decision to have two kids. They are simply gorgeous and when they smile at you it makes it all worthwhile.

However, now that we have two children we seem to be constantly faced with big decisions.

Circumcise or not? When to return to work and for how many days? What preschool and how many days?

Currently our big decision with Little Miss 4 is where to send her to school next year.

The prospect of "big" school has sent me in to some kind of neurotic meltdown for a while now. The fact it is looming ever so close is giving me the anxious sweats.

Yesterday we went to a walk-through at one of the prospective schools. It was so big and Little Miss 4 seemed so very small. My anxiety levels rose rapidly.

I was thankful that she was so excited and skipped through the school happily. When we got home she talked about what she had liked about the school. This morning she pretended that preschool was actually  big school.

I think she is way more ready for this transition than I am.

We have another school to look at before we make the final decision. I believe the school she goes to will set the foundation for a lot of things in her life.

It will be a hard decision to make and I hope we make the right one.

Do you make big decisions in relation to your kids? Was the school they went to a big decision?