Sunday, June 22, 2014
A letter to my childhood
The Ubud Writers’ Festival and Women of Letters have combined to create a digital space for people who want to write things to other things. This month’s theme is , I wrote this. You can submit your own letter here.
Where did you go? One minute you were there, the next you were not. I struggle to think of the exact moment when you left me and I found adulthood. Is there even an exact time? Are you always there, lurking behind adulthood, dying for your chance to come out.
When I reminisce about the time we spent together, I am torn. In the beginning you were good times. Bike riding through the streets, building cubby houses, following make-believe treasure maps, eating mud pies. It seemed the neighborhood was electric with you.
As time went by, the good times became less frequent. They were replaced with bitchiness, bullying, lies and back-stabbing. Those were not good times. I do not miss those times. Thinking about them rips a little more at my soul.
Did I rely too much on you to protect me? Perhaps. I thought you should be full of love, fun and good times. Not uncertainty, hate and despair. I believed there would be shelter under your wings until adulthood creep upon me. In hind-sight I know this to be a silly notion.
There is no blame or regret though. I learnt a lot from you. You have helped guide me to be the person I am today. For that, I thank you childhood and hope that you are still there, lurking somewhere.