Thursday, January 16, 2014

When life gives you lemons

What do you do when life gives you lemons?

Or more importantly, what do you do when life throws them at you like mini, sour little grenades?

That is what it has felt like here on Venus recently. It seems we can't get out of bed in the morning without something falling apart or breaking and basically going to shit....literally in some cases.

Okay, so maybe I exaggerate...but sadly only a little bit.

Warning: Stop reading now if you don't like to read a good whinge!

First it was the air conditioner. One stinking hot day in December we pressed the ON button. The fan started up. We waited for the cool air to follow. And we waited. And we waited. It never came.

After the busyness and closures of Christmas and New Year, an air-con technique came and told us the soft-starter had bitten the big one and therefore so had the capacitor. This was all too familiar as the same thing happened only a year ago.

He attempted to bypass the soft starter, which was causing us all the problems and install a new capacitor. Sadly, he returned from behind the house not able to bypass anything. We would have to call the suppliers of the actual unit.

More waiting ensued. Another air-con tech eventually came with all the parts required and tested this and that and banged that and whatever. Finally we had cool air coming out of our air-con vents and a bill for nearly $700.

Not wanting to be outdone by a lowly air-con unit, the car and computer were fighting it out to be next.

One afternoon, the car wouldn't start. The NRMA were called. The battery was re-charged. Thank goodness, it was just a flat battery. The NRMA man did suggest it might happen again as the battery was getting old. Apparently three is old for a car battery. If it did, we would be forking out money for a new one. Thankfully the car has started every time since.

Seems the car wasn't taking out the prize for being the biggest, sourest lemon thrown or the most expensive.

The computer started shutting down of it's own accord. We would go to use it, only to find it off. I work from home, so being without a computer isn't the best scenario. Actually who I am kidding, it is a completely shitty scenario!

Hubby to the rescue this time. He took it apart and discovered the fans were filled with dust - hence it was overheating. After some vaccuming and what not, it was pieced back together, hooked back up and (touch wood) has been working fine ever since.

Seems the computer wasn't taking out the prize for being the biggest, sourest lemon thrown or most expensive either.

One sleepy morning in the new year, Hubby smelt something burning and took off to investigate. He found the fish tank had sprung a leak and shorted out the filter. Thankfully, it hadn't caused a fire. But now we had to do something about the fish and their little home.

In all honesty, we talked about letting the fish go to fishy heaven but neither of us could do it. So Hubby trotted off to the fish shop to get a new tank. Cutting a long story short, we have a new 4ft tank and a bill for nearly $600.

We were hoping that was it. We were hoping the air-con unit had won the lemon throwing contest.

Sadly, it didn't. A new contender was about to emerge.

One Sunday night, Hubby came out of the bathroom, "The toilet is blocked. You'll have to call the plumber in the morning." I couldn't even begin to believe that one more thing had decided to take a TIME OUT (imagine me doing a time out sign).

I just went to bed and hoped it would all be a bad dream. Because what are you meant to do when the only toilet in the house is blocked. Please tell me, because I have no idea.

Early the next morning I called a plumber. He came to the house by 11am. After talking of smashing toilets, ripping up bathroom floors, cameras and jet blasting, it was agreed that he would be back the next day to re-line the pipe that had cracked and was causing the issue.

I received a call the next day to tell me that our job couldn't be done because of the weather. WTF! What weather? Apparently, it was raining somewhere, nowhere near me though. But somewhere it was raining so they couldn't possibly do our job.

After a heated discussion with the lovely lady from the plumbing business, I resigned myself to the fact that this was their "line" for what she actually meant, "You have been bumped for a bigger, more expensive job and we don't care where you shit".

Needless to say I was not happy to be without a toilet for another day!

Miraculously, the next day, when it was actually raining, two guys showed up (Go figure, right!). They re-lined the pipe, installed a new toilet and then told me we couldn't sit on it for 24 hours. Hallelujah, another 24 hours without a toilet - I was tempted to do a dance....NOT!

After several hours, they left me all alone with my gleaming new toilet that I couldn't sit on, a re-lined pipe and a bill for over $3500.

Clearly, the toilet and its broken pipe were the winners of most expensive, biggest, sourest lemon thrown.

Since the toilet debacle, touch wood, no really please touch wood, everything has been calm on Venus. And we are hoping it stays that way.

So, when life throws you lemons, the best thing to do is grab the tequila and salt and hope for the best.

What do you do when life throws your lemons?
Had any lemons thrown at you lately? (I really hope not)

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