Friday, May 10, 2013

How do you find the words?

Image from here
My friend is not an over-sharer. In fact he is not even really a sharer.

I have found out things about him by accident on more than one occasion. Something that is said by someone else and I put the puzzle pieces together.

The day my son was born, 4 months ago today, I found out that my friend's father had passed away. My brother told me when I called to tell him he was an uncle again.

I was devastated. I had known he was sick but didn't know just how sick.

How could I call my friend to tell him that we had just bought a new life into this world when he had just lost one?

I agonised for hours about what to say, eventually I just called my friend to tell him that our son had been born and to simply say I was devastated that he had lost his father.

This week we have been talking on the phone and I have heard the sadness in his voice.

I want to find the words to say to him to take away his sadness. I know it is important that he grieves but I want to know what to say to comfort him in his grief. I want him to know that I am there for him if he needs me.

How do you find these words? Are there any words that are suitable in a time like this?


  1. Very sad. I don't think there are any 'right' words, sometimes just any words will do x

  2. Oh huni, I dont know that there is ever the right thing to say, I think the fact that you are there for him speaks more than words as too many people shy away from someone who has just lost a loved one, as they just dont KNOW what to say. xx

    1. I think it is important to be there for friends when they need you :)

  3. It's a tough one. I don't think there are any words, really. Just as long they know you're there for them x