Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Seems I have a pattern...

...and not the polka dot, stripe, gorgeous coloured variety.

My pattern is more the, "I don't stick to anything" and "Always set my self expectation way to high" variety.

Point in case - this very blog. I love this blog but I come and go like the wind - sometimes howling and blogging every week, other times quite still and blogging never!

But (there is always a but), I am tying to change my pattern, perhaps to the gorgeous coloured variety.

You see I am back on the "get my gut better" train (cause back in July I found out I had no good bacteria and an overgrowth of bad) and this time I need to stick to it. Things seem to always hit rock bottom before I do something about it. This time was no different.

Anxiety and depression hit me hard, I went to my physiatrist, she said to me, "You need to get your shit together". I told her how I wasn't too keen on Dr Mac and wanted to go back to Dr Lee to help me with my guts and overall wellbeing. She agreed. Next appointment with Dr Lee is next week.

This will probably be the third occasion that I have started to see Dr Lee to get my shit together - the other times "life" has gotten in the way and I have stopped seeing her. This time it has to be about "life".

I start off things so gung-ho, coming out of the gates like a race horse. Only to run out of steam and end up on the side lines panting, out of breath.

This is my "Always set my self expectation too high"patterns fault. For example, I exercise like Michelle Bridges for a week, exhaust and hurt myself, then am so hard on myself for not being Michelle Bridges that it all ends in disaster. 

But NOT this time. This time is about "life", sticking to it and not setting my self expectations too high.

Do you have any patterns?


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