My Dad hates change. I hate change. Our little miss hates change. We love our comfort zones. It takes us a while to get comfortable with new people and places.
School is a big change. I didn't realise how big until our little miss started. I mean I knew it was a big deal but holy shit it really is a massive deal - for us anyway. Of course everyone is different. Some just slot into the new school life with ease. Ours will be a lot bumpier.
As I have mentioned before, our little miss also suffers from separation anxiety. So starting school is a massive deal for her.
There were some tears at the first school drop-off. The teacher told me in the afternoon that she only cried for a minute and then was happy and participating.
At bed time that night, she had more tears telling me that school was new and she wasn't used to it and she didn't want me to leave her. I broke down and we cried together. I told her that it was new to me too and together we would get used to it.
Drop-off at school on day two was worse. She screamed and grabbed onto me. The teacher took her hand and lead her into the classroom after we said goodbye. My heart shattered into a million pieces.
All I want is to be there for her. To hold her in my arms until she stops crying. But I can't stay at school all day with her, as much as I want to.
I can't believe how overwhelmed I feel about this whole experience. All day my stomach churns with nerves. My mind races with too many scenarios, is is she OK? is she eating? is she still crying? is she sitting by herself?
Needless to say I have sent a message to my psychiatrist for an appointment.