We made it through and so can you

This picture is the first ever taken of our little miss and me.

We didn't get off to the best of starts. Her labour was long, very long. I lost a lot of blood after she was born which hindered my milk supply leading to issues with feeding.

She welcomed the world with screams and didn't seem to stop for what felt like forever.

When we got her home from the hospital we had no idea what we were doing.

The more sleep I lost, the blacker things became. I didn't leave the house for weeks. I would cry continually. When I was able to get sleep I just lay there and my mind raced about what a bad mother I was and how nothing would ever be good again.

I talked to my psychiatrist on the phone daily. You see, I have suffered depression on and off for many years. But never like this. I felt like I was in a black hole, spiralling out of control and there was no end. I thought I would feel like this forever. Always trying to gasp for air.

I had Post Natal Depression (PND).

My psychiatrist talked me through it. She suggested I talk to the other support in my life, my family and friends. I did and it helped immensely.

She suggested I try to do things I enjoyed, go for walks, read a book, go for coffee. Small things, nothing major. I did and it helped immensely.

Slowly the darkness lifted.

Four and a half years later, our little man was born. I was scared that PND would consume my life again. My psychiatrist and I talked about it and put plans in place to combat it.

I had issues feeding again and the dark clouds started to roll in. But I wouldn't let it beat me this time. I started talking with my family, friends and doctors. It helped immensely.

There is no shame in admitting that you are struggling or depressed. As soon as you admit it you can seek help and start to feel better.

We made it through and so can you!

This week is PND Awareness Week. If you have any feelings of anxiety or depression, check out these links and they will help you - panda.org.au and the newly launched howisdadgoing.org.au.

PANDA have also developed a fact sheet about PND which outlines the signs and symptoms and what to do to get help.You can find this resource and more on the PANDA website.

I am linking up with Brand Meets Blog to share my PND depression story.

If you would like to do the same, go to http://fivedegreesofchaos.com/2013/11/17/postnatal-depression-sharing-stories/. You can even share your story on my blog and I can link it to Five Degrees of Chaos for you.