Tuesday, August 20, 2013

My hormones are throwing grenades

I have spent years with my psychiatrist learning to think positively. Dealing with ways to feel good about myself. Working out ways to deal with my anxiety and depression.

It has been a long road. A twisty, bendy road. I have hit forks and hoped that I have chosen the right path. I have hit patches of ice and skidded, hoping that eventually I find the dry safe road again.

I have come a long way. I am stronger and more resilient than ever. Of course I still have my issues, maybe I always will. Maybe that are just part of the package that is me.

Recently though I have noticed that my body has started fighting itself from the inside. My head is saying my positive mantras and my hormones are throwing hand grenades into the mix, yelling, "What about us? We are here and it is about time we get noticed".

I was 15 when I started taking the contraceptive pill to combat the symptoms of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It was a high dose hormone pill. I never had issues when I was on it - no PMS, barely any cramping. I really just took my pesky hormones for granted.

When Hubby and I started trying for our little tribe, six years ago, I went off the pill and since then I have either been doing fertility treatment, pregnant or breastfeeding.

So basically since I was 15 my hormones have been dictated by one drug or another.

Until now....our little tribe is complete, I am not pregnant and not breastfeeding.

For the first time since 15, my hormones are unmasked. It is like I am meeting them for the first time and they are mean and nasty.

I have been suffering from extreme Premenstrual Syndrome. I have never experienced anything like it. For a week out of every month I turn into an angry, cranky, intolerable, teary, despondent bear. I snap at everyone. There is no joy in anything and no sun shining.

I am shocked by my hormones and the effect they have on me. I am now on the journey to find some coping mechanisms, whether it be another type of contraceptive pill or something more natural, I will find it and hopefully my hormones will stop throwing hand grenades.

Do you suffer PMS? What are your coping strategies?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

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