How do you find the words?

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My friend is not an over-sharer. In fact he is not even really a sharer.

I have found out things about him by accident on more than one occasion. Something that is said by someone else and I put the puzzle pieces together.

The day my son was born, 4 months ago today, I found out that my friend's father had passed away. My brother told me when I called to tell him he was an uncle again.

I was devastated. I had known he was sick but didn't know just how sick.

How could I call my friend to tell him that we had just bought a new life into this world when he had just lost one?

I agonised for hours about what to say, eventually I just called my friend to tell him that our son had been born and to simply say I was devastated that he had lost his father.

This week we have been talking on the phone and I have heard the sadness in his voice.

I want to find the words to say to him to take away his sadness. I know it is important that he grieves but I want to know what to say to comfort him in his grief. I want him to know that I am there for him if he needs me.

How do you find these words? Are there any words that are suitable in a time like this?

Six roses and 14 kind words

Last night Hubby arrived home carrying a box of six red roses saying, "These were at the front door".

I was perplexed to say the least. I said, "Are they from you?"

He said, "They are six red roses, they better be from me."

Still perplexed. I read the card.

Such a complete and utter surprise. Hubby is not normally a flower buyer. Tears filled me eyes.

I have been having a rough time. I'm sure Hubby has too.

Our Little Mr 0 has been sick for weeks, sleep hasn't been high on his priority list and now drinking his milk isn't high on the list either. It takes it out of you, the worry, the exhaustion.

Our Little Miss 4 is going through a "phase" of whining and back chatting. It takes it out of you, attempting to navigate this new behaviour and be the best parent you can be.

On top of this I have my own insecurities about my body image, parenting skills, and hoping that I am the best wife that I can be too. These seem to be exacerbated  by my complete and utter exhaustion.
 
Then Hubby gives me six red roses and 14 kind words. He is a keeper and I love him with all my heart. I couldn't navigate this crazy thing called life without him by my side.

Hubby, thanks for asking me out.

Does your partner surprise you?

Wednesday Words - Seinfeld quotes

My all time favourite TV show, at the moment, is Seinfeld. I have all the seasons on DVD and have watched them too many times - Little Miss 4 even comments to Hubby, "Mummy is watching Seinfeld again".

It became my therapy when I was at home in those early days when Little Miss 4 was born. Those long, long days of crying, feeding, crying, feeding. It was my chance to escape my own reality into that of Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George.

Today I am sharing some of the quotes that I find particularly funny from some of my favourite episodes. I am really in need of a good laugh. Hopefully it will give you a laugh or remind you of your favourite TV show.

"You're through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!"

- Elaine, in "The Soup Nazi"

"I think we really need to be in front of the television set. You take TV out of this relationship, it is just torture."

- George, to his mother Estelle, in "The Fusilli Jerry"

"That's karma." 

"No, that's Kramer."

- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Truth"

"It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music."

- George, on Elaine's dancing style, in "The Little Kicks"

"Do women know about shrinkage?" 

"What do you mean, like laundry?"

"No..." 

"Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..." 

"It shrinks?" 

"Like a frightened turtle." 

"Why does it shrink?"

"It just does." 

"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

- George, Elaine and Jerry, in "The Hamptons" 

"You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? Here's your Christmas card!!!"

- Elaine to George, as she grabs his head and pulls it into her chest, in "The Pick" 

"What am I... hard of smelling?" 

- Elaine to Jerry, in "The Smelly Car" 

"I think they might have sutured that thing to your brain."

- Elaine, disdainful of George's new toupee, in "The Beard" 

"No, I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square."

- Jane, in "The Stall"

Get ready family...Mummy will be watching some Seinfeld episodes tonight :).

Do you have any favourite TV show quotes or favourite TV shows?

Wednesday Words - The Tao of Motherhood

In my attempt to reprioritise my life I am trying to be a calm and more relaxed mother to my children (well soon to be children, at the moment it is just child).

One of the ways I am doing this is by reading The Tao of Motherhood. It was recommended by a physiciarist so it must be the bomb, right?

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The description on the back of the book reads as follows:

The Tao Te Ching, the classic work of ancient Chinese wisdom, has inspired and guided millions of people over more than a hundred generations. Twenty years ago, Vimala McClure, a mother and teacher of meditation and yoga, was inspired to meditate with each of the concise, profound teachings of the Tao Te Ching and capture its spirit and wisdom in words specifically directed to an audience close to her heart — mothers.

The result, a new classic based on an old one, has encouraged and uplifted mothers for nearly a generation. Even the busiest of mothers can dip into this gentle, comforting book and find wonderful inspiration and guidance.


I have only just started reading it, however, so far this has been my favourite section:

Trust

A wise mother does not unnecessarily interfere with her child's life.

Your children have their own process - their own thoughts, feelings, and reactions - which must be allowed to unfold.

If your childhood was painful, you may get overinvolved with your children's lives and smother them. Or you may find yourself forcing them to think and feel the way you to, to adopt all your values and live the life you wish you had.

If you do not trust your children's process, your children will not trust anyone or anything. Your confidence in them builds their confidence in themselves.

Assist your children in such a way that they think, "We did it ourselves!"

As a person who suffered from lack of confidence and low self-esteem growing up, I have definitely been guilty of trying to force Little Miss 4 into things she probably wasn't keen to do, like dance lessons, in an effort to teach her to be confident and have high self-esteem from a young age. These are the things I need to work on so when I read this it rang true with me.

Parenting is extremely hard. It will be the hardest thing that I ever do and I just hope that I do a good job. Hopefully also this book will help me a little bit too.

Do you have a parenting book that you find useful?

Wednesday words - All I Ask of You

We have two weddings in consecutive weekends this month. The lovely Jess & Glen last weekend followed by the lovely Jess & Dan this weekend.

Whenever I go to a wedding I always reminisce about our wedding, mine and Hubby's. I think what we would do differently, what we would keep the same and what great ideas we could have picked up from the wedding we are attending.

One of the things I wouldn't change, and there are many including the groom (he is a keeper), is the song I walked down the aisle too. It was All I Ask of You from Phantom of the Opera.

Just in case you don't want to read the lyrics, you can view the movie version...



The lyrics are:

No more talk

of darkness,

Forget these

wide-eyed fears.

I'm here,

nothing can harm you -

my words will

warm and calm you.

Let me be

your freedom,

let daylight

dry -your tears.

I'm here,

with you, beside you,

to guard you

and to guide you . . .

Say you love me

every

waking moment,

turn my head

with talk of summertime . . .

Say you need me

with you,

now and always . . .

promise me that all

you say is true -

that's all I ask

of you . . .

Let me be

your shelter,

let me

be your light.

You're safe:

No-one will find you

your fears are

far behind you . . .

All I want

is freedom,

a world with

no more night . . .

and you

always beside me

to hold me

and to hide me . . .

Then say you'll share with

me one

love, one lifetime . . .

Iet me lead you

from your solitude . . .

Say you need me

with you

here, beside you . . .

anywhere you go,

let me go too -

Christine,

that's all I ask

of you . . .

Say you'll share with

me one

love, one lifetime . . .

say the word

and I will follow you . . .

Share each day with

me, each

night, each morning . . .

Say you love me . . .

You know I do . . .

Love me -

that's all I ask

of you . . .

Anywhere you go

let me go too . . .

Love me -

that's all I ask

of you . .

While I completely love the whole song, my favourite line is - Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. To me marriage is about sharing one love, one lifetime and this is exactly what I intend to do with Hubby.

I love that whenever I hear this song it reminds me of my wonderful husband and the day we were married. It is great how music can do, it transports you to another time and place - a lot like words from books, songs, movies, quotes. They trigger memories that make us smile or laugh and sometimes perhaps cry.

And now that I have been totally reminiscing, these are our other wedding songs (that I also still totally love, in fact Cover You in Kisses is my ring tone).

The song we danced to at our wedding was Cover You in Kisses by Vassy K.


The song we left the wedding to was Time to Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman.



What were your wedding songs?

Wednesday's words - Marriage quotes

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WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

Wednesday is now all about words; quotes, letters, writing, grown up book reviews, etc...words, words, words.

I love words.
I love writing.
I love talking.
It seems I am never short of something to say, very rarely anyway :)

Today I have decided on marriage quotes!

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Sexiness wears thin after awhile and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that is a treat.

Joanne Woodward

I love being married. Marrying my Hubby was the best decision I ever made. I had to kiss a couple of toads along the way - but those relationships definitely helped me figure out what I wanted and didn't want in a relationship...and what I wanted was a best friend.

Someone who would listen, support me, want to spend time with me, put up with me, laugh with me and cry with me. Someone I would want to listen to, support, spend time with, put up with, laugh with and cry with.

I definitely found that in my Hubby. I thank him often for asking me out all those years ago.

Our wedding day was wonderful. A simple ceremony in the garden and then a reception in the house on the same grounds with our family and close friends. We ate fabulous food and drank strawberry daiquiris (one of the main reasons I liked this place).

This is my favourite photo of us from that day...

If I get married, I want to be very married.

Audrey Hepburn

I love this quote from Audrey Hepburn. I love to think that I am very married, that Hubby and I are a team. We are Team Stone and we work together to get things done and sort out any issues that arise. We never go to bed angry and we talk (especially me!) about everything. Of course there are bumps in the road, but I am so happy to be navigating them with my Hubby.

What post about marriage quotes would be complete without some cheeky ones....

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Mae West

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson.

Do you love being married or not-married? Do you have any favourite marriage quotes?