A journey in my life

The biggest, yet most rewarding journey in my life was the one taken to have my beautiful children.

Our gorgeous little man was "conceived" through IVF. We had seven attempts at IUI and all failed. I can't even describe how gut-wrenchingly hard the failures become. The hormones, blood tests, ultrasounds, sperm samples. It feels like it will never end.

After our seventh fail on IUI, our doctor promptly moved us onto IVF. A small step up I thought. I thought wrong. IVF is FULL ON. I ended up injecting myself three times a day. Bloods and ultrasounds were done daily. Not to mention the emotional toll this process has on everyone involved.

Work trips were cancelled so eggs could be collected. After the surgery I woke to find a number written on your hand. My number was 19. Nineteen eggs had been collected. Not all would survive.

The clinic call daily with updates on the little eggs and sperm turning into embryos. We had five in the end that were viable to transfer. They picked the strongest and in about two minutes the transfer was done.

Then the wait began. Those dreaded two weeks. They seem the longest you will ever endure.

Finally the pregnancy blood test was done. I waited and waited for the phone call. It came, I was pregnant. 36 weeks later our little man was born.

Our gorgeous little lady was "conceived" through IUI. It took nearly one year to conceive her. We tried Clomid and had various investigative surgeries before moving to IUI. At the time I thought it was a mammoth journey to have her. Until we started trying for our little man.

We are truly thankful that this technology exists, otherwise we would not have our wonderful little family. These journeys were definitely worth it.

What has been a journey in your life?

Deciding what to do...

with your stored embryos.

Is the first sentence on the letter that landed in our mailbox yesterday.

Image credit

When we started  IVF and completed the consent form, which asked questions about storing embryos and what to do with them when you no longer wanted them stored, I have to admit I didn't really think about having to actually make the decision.

You complete this form at the beginning of the treatment. When you have no idea if it will actually work or what the hell you are getting into. When there are is no baby in your arms and no embryos to store.

We are one of the lucky ones and we now have a baby in our arms and stored embryos. Every day I am thankful for IVF and the precious gift it has given us. If we lived in a different time we wouldn't have our beautiful children.

Now I look at this letter and feel sick about the decision that faces us.

There are five choices when deciding what to do with your stored embryos.

Keep them and pay $500 per year.

Discard, but use for training. The embryos would be thawed and then used by the scientists to continue to improve techniques.

Discard. The embryos are thawed and then disposed of. Some patients opt to collect their embryos once they are thawed to put them in a special place. A further option is to have the embryos transferred into the uterus at a time when pregnancy could not occur.

Donation to another couple. There is a lot of criteria that you need to meet to donate to another couple. If you meet this criteria you can choose a couple to donate the embryos to and your details are added to the NSW donor register.

Donation to research. The embryos would be thawed and then used in research projects. At the beginning of any research you are told about it and have the opportunity to say that you don't want your embryos included.

Hubby and I are certain that we don't want any more children. We are beyond happy with the two healthy happy children we have, our little miss and little mr.

Now that we are faced with this decision I am an emotional mess. My heart aches for our little embryos. Every time I think of them I see my kids and tears flood my eyes. I think of them as our little babies.

This will be one of the hardest decisions of my life.

One year ago today

A year ago today, May 5th 2012 was a hugely significant day in our lives.

It was the day we moved into our house. Our very first house together as a family.

We had bought it 6 weeks earlier and had been doing some work on it; painting, storm water, gardening, sub-floor ventilation, and getting the wood floors sanded and polished.

May 5th 2012 was the day! Our first house, with a yard and everything! A yard!

Since moving in we have done a lot of work too, including The Great Landscaping Challenge.

May 5th 2012 was also the day that I got pregnant with Little Mr 0.

I know this was the exact day because this was when I had my eggs collected as part of IVF.

After a very anxious five day wait we were told we had five embryos and they would be transferring the strongest one. The other four would be put on ice in case we needed them if this cycle also failed.

After another very anxious nine day wait, I went in for my pregnancy blood test. It was positive.

We couldn't quite believe it.

It had been 18 months of failed fertility treatments, including goodness knows how many injections, ultrasounds and blood tests and one laparoscopy. Not to mention the river of tears and several depressive episodes. We were actually pregnant with our second child.

Until I held him in my arms I don't think I believed it.

May 5th 2012 was a very hectic day. Who knew that the day we had booked to move was going to be the day my eggs were ready for collection?

Without hesitation, my mum and dad took time off work to help us out. We are truly fortunate to have these two people in our loves.

Hubby, my dad and Little Miss 4 (Little Miss 3 at the time) moved us into our new home.

My mum took me to the hospital, sat with me, rejoiced with me when I found out they had collected 19 eggs and then drove me home, where they had made sure that our bedroom with the first thing set up so I could sleep - general anaesthetics do that too me.

I remember this day like it was yesterday. I wonder if I always will?

Now sadly after one year comes a tough decision for Hubby and I - what to do with the four embryos that are still on ice?

Do you have a significant day in your life?