Monday, June 3, 2013

Dear Childless Me

Dear Childless Me,

You think that newborn babies are all cute and cuddly, well, you are right. They are for about five percent of the time.

The other ninety five percent of the time they will cry and you have no idea why.

No matter what you try or don't try, if they are in the mood to scream, then damn it, that is exactly what they are going to do.

But be calm, confident and consistent and you will get there eventually. Apparently.

Never take for granted the simple things in life.

Enjoy your trips to the movies to see what you want, when you want and with who you want. Actually seeing the whole movie and eating all the M&Ms to yourself will become a thing of the past.

Speaking of trips, make sure you relish the peace of going to the bathroom to shower, brush your teeth or use the toilet all by yourself.

Take pleasure in the fact you can eat a meal, snack, chocolate, or ice-cream without having to share. "Because we are sharing", will become a statement you will hear every day.

Even if you are treated to a sleep-in, don't be fooled. It is only a sleep-in until one of your children wants to ask you to put on a DVD, change the TV channel, get them a drink or something to eat. Apparently only mums can do these things.

Get used to having food, texta, paint, play dough, pencil, pen or crayon on your clothes, all the furniture, carpet, floors and walls.

During the cold and flu season be prepared to be arm deep in snot and be up all night with hacking coughs. Oh and don't be alarmed when your children shoves used tissues down your top instead of putting them in the bin.

You know how you said you would never be like your parents, news flash, as soon as you have kids you are them.

Having told you all this, also be prepared for the unconditional, heart tugging, gut wrenching love you will feel for these little people. For the way your eyes will fill with tears the first time you hear them say I love you.

The proud feelings that will overwhelm you as they learn things and grow into wonderful human beings.

Be ready for your heart to melt when they came into your room in the darkness of night and say, "Can I snuggle Mum?"

Make sure you are equipped for the way they will be become your everything.

Above all else, strap yourself in, because you are in for one hell of ride.